my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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