i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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