I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
