How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
