do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
