she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
