I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
