You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
