You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize