Umm I'm too high to move.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
