i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
