Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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