Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
