Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You left your underwear on the fireplace
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
