she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize