I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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