Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
