The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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