They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
