If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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