Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
