trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
