The best revenge is premature balding
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
