there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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