Sponge bath it is.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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