so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize