I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
