i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
