you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
