Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
