My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
