Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think my moral compass just broke
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
