So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
