Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
