My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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