the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
