She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
