jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
