I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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