hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
