3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
