he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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