so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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