There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize