Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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