it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
