when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There r osticjed everywhere
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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