Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
