Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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