wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
