I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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