Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
