what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
