Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
