Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
