the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
where are my eyebrows?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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