Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
