I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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