This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The Olympian is in my bed
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
