he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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