idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
