Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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