i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
