Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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