Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize