I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
